Acceptance of your as-is is very important aspect in any relationship.  And especially so in your relationship with food.  A vast majority of people do not feel connected with their own bodies, and by extension, to their environment and their lives.  So pervasive is this disembodiment, that we hardly realise it.  Our family, and the society where we live, keeps on pushing us further into disembodiment, as they are equally moving further away from their relationship with their body and food.


Finding a purpose in life helps stop the disembodiment process.


When we have something bigger than our own existence to look forward to, we accept greater challenges and increase our potential.  A perfect everyday example is a woman.  When she is young, the woman is careless – about what she eats, how she moves and when she rests.  Once she knows she is going to be a mother, her whole identify changes.  There comes a purpose in her life – the unborn child.  Now she needs to be careful about what she eats (so as to provide sufficient nourishment to the baby); she is careful about her movements (so as not to cause harm to the child) and she ensures that she gets adequate rest.  It is no longer herself.  She as a new purpose in life; a new challenge and she transforms herself to meet them.  We often hear of cases when a woman had not realised she’s pregnant, but her attitude and habits had changed much before the realisation.  It is the nature’s way of manifesting the subconscious with the potential of creation.


Similarly, a young man realises this potential when he looks at and holds his child for the first time.  The feeling fosters a strong realisation of his potential which has led to the creation of this life.  Along with the realisation comes an awareness of his responsibility to guide, support and nurture this creation in which he played a part.


So how does this fit in our relationship with food?


Once we realise our potential and our ability, it opens a completely new perspective about ourselves – our uniqueness and the untapped potential within us. It guides us to our purpose in life.  Without a purpose, we are lost souls; we continue to do things without deriving pleasure from it.  However, once we realise the purpose, every small action acquires a meaning.  It either leads us closer to our goal or takes us away from it.  Self-realisation is the greatest gift you can receive.  So long as you do not realise it, it is like a gift which is yet to be opened.  And unlike the other gifts, it is not just for us, but its true meaning and importance is to spread it and give back something to the planet earth. 


When self-realisation dawns upon us, we stop blaming, shaming, and cursing our body.  It is no longer imperfect.  The body shape that you lusted for, does not hold the same value, as you see your body in a different light.  You start noticing the uniqueness in your body shape – those curves that were hitherto hidden from you.  And you start loving your body.  Your weight is just another number which can be taken care of with love and acceptance.  Your dress size, similarly is yet another number (helpful when you need to buy a new set of clothes, but not something that you’re ashamed of!).  When you love a possession, you care for it.  So when you accept your body and love it, you start caring for it.  No longer you ‘punish’ your body eating wrong food, or over-eating.  No longer you starve your body without food.  You start listening to your body and respond positively.


With self-realisation you start engaging with life in present, becoming mindful of what we are creating on this planet earth.  And you are not alone.  What you do influences people around you.  Your partner, your co-workers, your kids watch what you are doing and adopt them in various stages.  Some months ago I was working with a client, helping her in her self-realisation process.  Her partner was scornful of the whole idea and ridiculed it.  In  a matter of weeks, he could see the transformation happening in his client.  The ridicule stopped and the scorn was transformed to curiosity.  And then to experimentation.  And then to appreciation.  He has seen the physical manifestation (health, fitness and ‘glow’) as well as the spiritual manifestation (calmness, purposefulness) of the self-realisation process that my client was going through.  Slowly, but firmly, my client stopped eating the food which did not agree with her (she said she never liked it, but ate it because her partner liked them!)


How do we know what is our purpose in life on this planet?


Depending on how long you have been in a state of disembodiment for long, it may take some time to connect with your soul.  But trust me, it will happen.  You need to be prepared to let go of your beliefs and stop criticising yourself for your apparent failures.  The sooner you let go, the easier it will be to get grounded.


In terms of Chakra system, we are enabling our first and second chakras.  You can also do some grounding exercises like walking barefoot on grass.  And feeling it!  It is very important to concentrate on your feet and feel the ground beneath your feet.  Gently press your feet to the ground and imagine your feet developing roots, so that you are well supported and taken care of!


Go out for a walk and observe your surroundings – the sunlight on leaves, the myriad patterns of light and shades.  Don’t observe for the sake of observing; learn to enjoy the sight!  You’re privileged to have been bestowed with the power of sight!  Be thankful and use it to observe the beauty around you!  And not just watch the telly!


Don’t be afraid to try out things which brings smile to your face – like dance, music, colours.  If you are unsure, you may need to try them out to decide which one that brings you greatest satisfaction is.


Don’t ignore the painful thoughts and emotions.  They are there for a purpose.  Most often they have a hidden message in you and they help you discover your purpose.  I am a big fan of Mandala and its powerful visualisation technique has helped me and my clients uncover their purpose in life.  Drawing and understanding Mandalas need an expert guidance and I strongly encourage you to try it.


If you are unable to try any of the above techniques, I encourage you to talk to people who know you well and ask them to list 5 good qualities that they see in you and 5 potential development areas.  This can be a very good starting point for your journey to self-realisation.


Now, when we know we are not hear to fit in a number (size) or a behaviour pattern, we start working towards our purpose.  We journey starts from a place where we have a far important reason to be healthy, to look after ourselves, because we cannot afford to waste a beautiful gift (our body) without it achieving its purpose.  Universe wants us to explore and live our life fully.  Let’s change just ourselves; and the change creates ripples in your environment, engulfing first the one closest to you; then your immediate surroundings, then your community, your society and finally the world!


In my next blog, which is the third part of this series, I will talk about embracing our sexuality and how it transforms us as a whole and our relationship with food.


Till the, bye from Breathe Move Love!