There’s an old saying – Everyday is not Sunday. All days are not equal; some are good, some are bad. And some are downright horrible. There are days when nothing seems to work or motivates us; when we feel ‘stuck’ in whatever we are doing, or just in our life. What do we do? We try harder to get out of it or we just feel horrible, defeated and worthless.
What if we do things differently?
Most of our lives, we are constantly working from one goal to other, from one target to another without a break or a pause. Sometimes, losing control on things, works. Getting out of routine, laying back and relaxing works. Here’s how you can do that:
1. Take a break from your routine
I know it sounds strange, but taking a break from our monotonous routine and life, helps us bounce back in our health, mind and soul.
So, let’s say you have always been strict dieter. Make yourself go lose to eat a piece of your favourite cake without feeling guilt. If you have always been a well-dressed, try something funky. If your habit is to wake up early, sleep longer. Doing opposite help us to relax and we come back with more power and enthusiasm towards life as whole.
I still remember few years back my biggest fear was to stand up in front of people and do workshop with my broken accented English. When I did that, I broke that pattern of fear in me. Funny enough, now whenever I get time I jump on the idea of doing presentations or making videos.
2. Slow learner
I am a slow learner, I take time to learn and act. Often people around me think I have missed fair amount of opportunity to grow in my business and that type of judgment has always damaged me as a person.
So what do I do then? I do not jump on each and every opportunity. Like a golfer, I wait for the correct shot. Meanwhile I benefit from waiting.
a. I gather more knowledge and experiences.
b. I can clearly see my weakness and work on it.
c. My decision is powered by my own intuition and it comes from empowerment from within. I am ready to take responsibility of my own decisions, good or bad.
When you feel stuck, buy yourself some time, kindness and compassion towards yourself.
Don’t be afraid to wait to act or be a slow and steady .
3. When we focus internally rather than externally, it works great.
We often feel stuck or have limited belief in ourselves because we focus on other people’s judgment on us. What can we do to bring our attention inward towards us?
Living in the UK, I know we cannot trust the weather reports as the weather tends to be unpredictable. Rather than lamenting on the poor weather conditions (which I cannot control), I have learnt to change my thoughts, my inward focus and my wellness (all of which I can control). How we act, think or process is in our hand. There are some more methods which can help you look internally:
a. Mindfulness which is living in present.
b. Paying gratitude and thanking for what we own, brings peace in us .
c. Going for a pleasure walks in nature.
d. Connecting with animals and babies are great.
e. Affirmations. Saying to yourself “I am safe and secure” helps us feel grounded. Try this in barefoot standing on grass.
f. Less grudges or complains about others or your circumstances , helps you to get unstuck.
g. Every failure is an opportunity given to us to learn and becoming wiser.
h. There is abundance and I deserve prosperity.
Give back the power to yourself and your mind.
4 –Listen to your Intuition
We are all born with intuitions, but with time we learn how not to listen to intuition and be logical. For me, intuition or hunch works a lot. It makes me aware of something much ahead and has helped me steer clear of tricky situations or guided me to a right course. And I’m not unique. I have cultivated myself to listen to my intuitions. And to trust them. We can build our intuition through meditation, mindfulness and embracing ourselves fully. Believe in yourself and your thoughts.
Intuition is a unique gift to us and do not ignore this gift by saying you’re overreacting or that it is useless. Intuition is a self-preserving mechanism which not only helps you out of danger, but also seeks to keep you happy and content.
5. Fear is the biggest factor when we feel stuck.
I am always inspired to see a new born of animal or human learning to stand up. They keep on failing and yet they never give up trying. They get hurt in the process, but that feeling never deters them from trying again. Being able to stand up on your own for the first time is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. Sadly, as we grow old, we forget that. Fear of failure sets in and compels us from following the norm, makes us give up readily and curse our fate. We can train ourselves recognise our fear first and identify its source. Mostly, the source is external to us.
In my clients, quite often I find what they really need is a reassurance from their coach. Someone to tell them what they dream to do, what they aspire after is possible after all. And that’s all they need to remove the external fear that has crept in them and clouded their confidence. Coaches or therapists are not super human. They are, at best, intuitive and have trained to identify the blockages in you. Fear, is obviously the most important blockage that I encounter in my clients. Seth Godin has summed up beautifully about fear.
“Fear will push you to avert your eyes. Fear will make you think you have nothing to say. It will create a buzz that makes it impossible to meditate…or it will create a fog that makes it so you can do nothing but meditate. Fear seduces us into losing our temper. And fear belittles us into accepting unfairness. Fear doesn’t like strangers, people who don’t look or act like us, and most of all, the unknown. It causes us to carelessly make typos, or obsessively look for them. Fear pushes us to fit in, so we won’t be noticed, but it also pushes us to rebel and to not be trustworthy, so we won’t be on the hook to produce. It is subtle enough to trick us into thinking it isn’t pulling the strings, that it doesn’t exist, that it’s not the cause of, “I don’t feel like it.” When in doubt, look for the fear. —Seth Godin
6. Bring Movement in your life
Bring in things in your life that you love. This will keep you motivated. To me, exercise brings more clarity and happiness. I remember, once when my family was going through a rough financial path, and I was working in a gym, I would regularly exercise for at least an hour, followed by long walks every day to keep myself calm. It just did not help me maintain my calm, but also keep my stress level low and I could clearly think and plan our next steps to get out the predicament.
We are often stuck because we do not explore other options. Have you been on a walk in some unknown area? There’s a well trodden path before you. Do you take that? Or you prefer to go off and explore your own? You have choices at each juncture in your life. Whether they are visible to you or not, depends on your appetite for adventure. To try something new. If you can’t see the options, think again.
One of my client was very unhappy in her marriage and she was feeling stuck and she thought she had no options left but to spend her whole life in an abusive relationship. Well, actually she had at least three choices:
a. Do Nothing: to remain in that relationship as she was
b. Leave: It would have been challenging initially but later she’d think why she did not do it earlier;
c. Stay in the relationship but create her own life for herself, investing in her development, counselling, coaching whatever can make the outcome easier for you and your relationship.
As I started with, everyday is not Sunday. Life is full of ups and downs and it is normal to feel trapped at times. The challenge is not to be trapped in the trap. When you are in a situation, see it as learning where you need to loosen up, where you need more control in life. And do the opposite of what you have been doing to land in that situation.
All the best …..