I remember the moment when I shut my windows and doors of my well-being very tightly so that no air can penetrate. It was in a way painful but that was my comfort zone too. I started doing all those things which makes me feel secure. The more my self-confidence was going the more I embrace a non-healthy way of living. The result was obvious putting on weight, lost and more important was I felt not important at all. The journey was very lonely and sometime it was like I was aging beyond time. I was safe in this environment because I started identifying myself as one of those women who feels exactly the same.
What drove me to change then?
One day I decided to step out from the world I was living in. It was just a small step; nothing big. I finished my work early and went to bed early so that I could wake up early. I woke up at 5 am and then I thought I must go out for a walk. All alone, I slowly started taking a stroll outside my house. I still remember how it felt on my cheeks – the fresh air and all those trees which were in a way so welcoming. One day converted into days and days into weeks and weeks into months and a year. I use to come back when everyone was still sleeping in my house. I used to sit down with a cup of tea and a paper and pencil. Then the second window would open for me and that was my thoughts. Every day I use to write things, mixing colours and paints in my writing. The anger, sorrow and unhappiness were replaced slowly into happiness, forgiveness and love. I start loving myself again that was the big door which I opened with confidence and love.
Once you start loving yourself so many doors and windows open for you. It was just few steps which I took few years back and I am still taking slowly but very confidently each day one more step.
Writing thoughts on paper is like spreading your wings; someday it takes you to your place of dream. Sometime you find it hard to fly. Thoughts are reflection of who you are or sometime it is influenced by other people too. Spread your wings and discover the beauty of flying.